...and the voice says:
"You will never accomplish what you want."
"For you, sir, nothing will work out like it should."
"You are nothing special."
"Happiness is a luxury you will never afford."
"Try as hard as you can, so that when you fail (and you will always fail) you can say that you tried."
Even in my most joyful times, the voice lingers and says, "Don't get used to this." I have spent years, not killing the voice, but gaining comfort in the fact that I am not alone in my struggle to destroy this voice; that there are others just like me who fight against the same voice who says similair things to them. I hope to one day destroy this voice; with what, I don't know. But for now I suppose i will just keep fighting, one day at a time.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
top 100 albums of 2009
10. A Mouth Full Of Dust by Bradley Hathaway (standout track: "Look Up")
9. Dance Or Die With A Vengeance by Family Force 5 - (standout track: "Ghostride The Whip")
8. First Temple by Closure In Moscow (standout track: "Ghost Of Twilight")
7. Stages by Vedera (standout track: "Forgive You")
6. ...In Shallow Seas We Sail by Emery (standout track: "Butcher's Mouth")
5. Armistice by Mute Math (standout track: "Armistice")
4. In Search Of Solid Ground by Saosin (standout track: "On My Own")
3. You Can't Take It With You by As Tall As Lions (standout track: "In Case Of Rapture")
2. On A Carousel of Sound, We Go Round by the Snake, the Cross, the Crown (standout track: "Behold The River")
1. The Way I See It - by Raphael Saadiq (i realize that this album was released in 2008, but i discovered it in 2009, and it blew my mind. within a week, every song was the most played on my itunes!)
9. Dance Or Die With A Vengeance by Family Force 5 - (standout track: "Ghostride The Whip")
8. First Temple by Closure In Moscow (standout track: "Ghost Of Twilight")
7. Stages by Vedera (standout track: "Forgive You")
6. ...In Shallow Seas We Sail by Emery (standout track: "Butcher's Mouth")
5. Armistice by Mute Math (standout track: "Armistice")
4. In Search Of Solid Ground by Saosin (standout track: "On My Own")
3. You Can't Take It With You by As Tall As Lions (standout track: "In Case Of Rapture")
2. On A Carousel of Sound, We Go Round by the Snake, the Cross, the Crown (standout track: "Behold The River")
1. The Way I See It - by Raphael Saadiq (i realize that this album was released in 2008, but i discovered it in 2009, and it blew my mind. within a week, every song was the most played on my itunes!)
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
the new jeremy larson record is absolutely brilliant. its called "salvation club," and i highly recommend it.
in other news, reality has officially kicked in. i have work in 40 minutes. my 5 days in cali were great. i ate great food, hung out with family, etc. now its back to the old grind. practice, work, shows, church, practice, work, shows, church, practice, work, shows, church.
i miss my girlfriend. i broke weeks of training my dogs to not jump up on the bed. i gave in and let porkchop sleep with me because i was lonely. now its back to square one, i guess.
peace.
in other news, reality has officially kicked in. i have work in 40 minutes. my 5 days in cali were great. i ate great food, hung out with family, etc. now its back to the old grind. practice, work, shows, church, practice, work, shows, church, practice, work, shows, church.
i miss my girlfriend. i broke weeks of training my dogs to not jump up on the bed. i gave in and let porkchop sleep with me because i was lonely. now its back to square one, i guess.
peace.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
things that have really pissed me off lately...
anyone who refers to something or someone as "gay" when that thing or person is not actually gay. for example: "the lakers beat the nuggets!? thats so fucking GAY!"
98% of all high school kids. was i this much of a reckless, self centered, arrogant, ignorant, attention whore when i was in high school? i pray to god i was not.
twilight: a movie that shouldnt be watched by anyone who isnt female and 13 years old or younger.
criss angel = douchebag
MTV
anyone who still hates on britney spears. all you paparazzi and tmz jerk offs drove that woman to insanity (almost literally).
lil wayne... i respect you alot, i really do. but get rid of that fucking guitar.
beer. everyone stop pretending like its good, for gods sake. it tastes like dog shit and you know it.
escalades and hummers.
VH1
anyone (who is not going to the prom) who travels in a stretch limo or stretch ANYTHING.
john piper
98% of all high school kids. was i this much of a reckless, self centered, arrogant, ignorant, attention whore when i was in high school? i pray to god i was not.
twilight: a movie that shouldnt be watched by anyone who isnt female and 13 years old or younger.
criss angel = douchebag
MTV
anyone who still hates on britney spears. all you paparazzi and tmz jerk offs drove that woman to insanity (almost literally).
lil wayne... i respect you alot, i really do. but get rid of that fucking guitar.
beer. everyone stop pretending like its good, for gods sake. it tastes like dog shit and you know it.
escalades and hummers.
VH1
anyone (who is not going to the prom) who travels in a stretch limo or stretch ANYTHING.
john piper
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
What About Pluto?: Just Give Up EP
one half of the accomplishment i am most proud of is at www.myspace.com/whataboutpluto
Thursday, April 2, 2009
i feel like the chariot sounds.
for a reason that is just too embarrassing for me to mention: words cannot describe how stereotypically masculine i feel right now. i honestly can say if a dude fucked with me, i would beat the living shit out of him. i am angry, sad, depressed, incredibly discouraged. through the years i have slowly but surely been losing my all faith in basically anyone who is in any position of authority and this experience has brought me down to about 5%. i am definitely teetering on 86ing any faith i have left in humanity. i know this is an overreaction, but i am sure you (whoever you are, reading this) have had a similar experience.
i literally hate everything.
i literally hate everything.
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