and the voice says...

...and the voice says:

"You will never accomplish what you want."

"For you, sir, nothing will work out like it should."

"You are nothing special."

"Happiness is a luxury you will never afford."

"Try as hard as you can, so that when you fail (and you will always fail) you can say that you tried."


Even in my most joyful times, the voice lingers and says, "Don't get used to this." I have spent years, not killing the voice, but gaining comfort in the fact that I am not alone in my struggle to destroy this voice; that there are others just like me who fight against the same voice who says similair things to them. I hope to one day destroy this voice; with what, I don't know. But for now I suppose i will just keep fighting, one day at a time.

top 100 albums of 2009

10. A Mouth Full Of Dust by Bradley Hathaway (standout track: "Look Up")

9. Dance Or Die With A Vengeance by Family Force 5 - (standout track: "Ghostride The Whip")

8. First Temple by Closure In Moscow (standout track: "Ghost Of Twilight")

7. Stages by Vedera (standout track: "Forgive You")

6. ...In Shallow Seas We Sail by Emery (standout track: "Butcher's Mouth")

5. Armistice by Mute Math (standout track: "Armistice")

4. In Search Of Solid Ground by Saosin (standout track: "On My Own")

3. You Can't Take It With You by As Tall As Lions (standout track: "In Case Of Rapture")

2. On A Carousel of Sound, We Go Round by the Snake, the Cross, the Crown (standout track: "Behold The River")

1. The Way I See It - by Raphael Saadiq (i realize that this album was released in 2008, but i discovered it in 2009, and it blew my mind. within a week, every song was the most played on my itunes!)

what. the. hell.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=4300383

the new jeremy larson record is absolutely brilliant. its called "salvation club," and i highly recommend it.

in other news, reality has officially kicked in. i have work in 40 minutes. my 5 days in cali were great. i ate great food, hung out with family, etc. now its back to the old grind. practice, work, shows, church, practice, work, shows, church, practice, work, shows, church.

i miss my girlfriend. i broke weeks of training my dogs to not jump up on the bed. i gave in and let porkchop sleep with me because i was lonely. now its back to square one, i guess.

peace.

things that have really pissed me off lately...

anyone who refers to something or someone as "gay" when that thing or person is not actually gay. for example: "the lakers beat the nuggets!? thats so fucking GAY!"

98% of all high school kids. was i this much of a reckless, self centered, arrogant, ignorant, attention whore when i was in high school? i pray to god i was not.

twilight: a movie that shouldnt be watched by anyone who isnt female and 13 years old or younger.

criss angel = douchebag

MTV

anyone who still hates on britney spears. all you paparazzi and tmz jerk offs drove that woman to insanity (almost literally).

lil wayne... i respect you alot, i really do. but get rid of that fucking guitar.

beer. everyone stop pretending like its good, for gods sake. it tastes like dog shit and you know it.

escalades and hummers.

VH1

anyone (who is not going to the prom) who travels in a stretch limo or stretch ANYTHING.

john piper

What About Pluto?: Just Give Up EP

one half of the accomplishment i am most proud of is at www.myspace.com/whataboutpluto

i feel like the chariot sounds.

for a reason that is just too embarrassing for me to mention: words cannot describe how stereotypically masculine i feel right now. i honestly can say if a dude fucked with me, i would beat the living shit out of him. i am angry, sad, depressed, incredibly discouraged. through the years i have slowly but surely been losing my all faith in basically anyone who is in any position of authority and this experience has brought me down to about 5%. i am definitely teetering on 86ing any faith i have left in humanity. i know this is an overreaction, but i am sure you (whoever you are, reading this) have had a similar experience.

i literally hate everything.

job / career

there are some people who have JOBS.
there are some people who have CAREERS.

there is a big difference.

i work in a pizza restaurant. this is a job.

my friend jeff is a philosophy teacher / pastor who just published his first book and is working on his second one. this is a career.

sometimes, people mistake their jobs for careers. sometimes people mistake their careers for jobs. some people (me) have jobs and careers because their careers dont make them any money. these people get discouraged a lot.

lazy ignorance about percussion.

lazy ignorance about percussion.

Current mood: bitchy

this instrument is called a XYLOPHONE:


this instrument is called a GLOCKENSPIEL (NOT a xylophone):


this instrument is called a CONGA (not a "bongo," or "congo"):


these are called bongos (plural because there are TWO of them):


this is a C-Y-M-B-A-L. not a S-Y-M-B-O-L (you fucking moron):

things im into lately

mash-ups. www.jaydiohead.com

the alternative press podcast

anything involving the music business and why major labels are collapsing

redbox

wearing button up shirts

cooking

ugh...why!?

25.

lately...
i have been drawn to
almost tears
at the inspiration
my friends have provided for me with

the genius of their art
the beauty in their music
the sincerity in their hearts
the overall living of their own lives.

i feel like
the things i have done in my life
and the way i am
completely buckles
in comparison.

sometimes
it is a little
intimidating.

i am turning
25
soon
and i feel like i have
nothing
to show for it.

my girlfriend is
absolutely brilliant
at what she does.

im only pretty good at what i do.

i will try my hardest to not hold her back.

reality sucks.

i want to stay on vacation forever.